the OTHER

OTHERING

“I can’t believe this is happening. They’re making us feel like outcasts!” This is what a dear Ukrainian refugee friend texted me when she heard the US government may rescind their emergency protective  status and possibly send them back to Ukraine. I told her this represents the concept of “othering”, so prevalent these days, where we are meant to fear and hate those not like us, or from other countries.

I have touched on this before: By focusing on the differences between us rather than the commonalities, we do damage to our personal wellness as well as that of our society.

Since I am so proud of this particular family, let me tell  you a bit more about them: In the early morning hours of February 24, 2022, they were awakened to the sounds of air raid sirens and bombs falling very near to their home. The children were extremely frightened.They never intended to leave Ukraine. their life was perfect there- they had a beautiful family and home, a thriving business, as well as extended family. When the war broke out, very close family friends convinced them to leave and go to the US, as they had decided to do. They also had young children. Since the family has three children, the father was allowed to migrate instead of being forced to stay and join the Ukrainian military in their defensive war.

 They loaded their three school aged children, a few prized possessions, like the older child’s ukulele, into their car, leaving their beautiful home, loving grandparents and most of the children’s toys behind. They drove across Europe to Frankfurt, where they boarded a flight to Mexico, where they applied for asylum refugee status, but were granted only temporary protective status, which can be rescinded at any time. .

They found their way to our home in Tampa, where we had the absolute privilege and honor of housing them for several months until they became established with schools, a place to live and connections with the Ukrainian diaspora here, reveling in their sense of safety and hope for the future. They remained humble and grateful throughout, becoming more and more “American” with each passing day.

Needing a reliable income, and frustrated with the delay of obtaining US work permits, these hardworking folks formed their own LLC and started a small business which has sustained them.

The pride and gratefulness for the generosity and kindness they initially felt upon arriving to America, seeking only to keep their children safe and happy and to run a successful small business, paying taxes and helping the country in many ways. They are worried now, their initial gratitude and positive feelings have  been replaced by growing dread, worry and fear in being seen, once again as the “other” who should be feared and possibly deported.

The connection we and they felt discovering our commonalities as human beings, has now been tarnished by feelings of separation and rejection, which will negatively affect the health and wellness of us all.

In health,

Dr. John Monaco

MONACO Wellness

www.monacowellness.org

(813) 541-6440